Good Enough

 

One of my favorite songs is “Good Enough” by Sarah McLachlan. It’s poignant. It’s real. It’s snot inducing. It’s also the story of my life.

Up until a few years ago, I had a nagging, paralyzing case of the NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Sometimes, I still get flares, but they are less frequent, and far less crippling.

“Don’t tell me why she’s never been good to you. Don’t tell me why she’s never been there for you… ” ~Sarah McLachlan “Good Enough”

(Girl, stop reading my journal! )

The song’s melody is like listening to a tiny symphonic battle: Sarah vs. self-doubt. The rhythm of the guitar and cadence of the percussion map a way out of the pain. The lyrics, oh, wo-man, the lyrics are a simultaneous loving reassurance and a kick in the ovaries.

“I never would have opened up, but you seemed so real to me. After all the bullshit I’ve heard, it’s refreshing not to see…”

One of the best things about being real is never having to pretend. It’s amazing how you attract the right people into your life and the right clients. I now work with people who GET me. I don’t chase people who never will.

Being real has its privileges.

I met my BFF, Beth Picard, on one of the realest days of my life. I was having a come-apart over building my website, and Beth showed up, kicked my ass, and we’ve been friends ever since. We don’t pretend with each other.

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“I don’t have to pretend. She doesn’t expect it from me…”

I met Beth because of Marie Forleo’s RHHB-School. I won a scholarship into the program by being real and authentic in a video I shot in my bathroom with a flip camera I bought at a pawn shop. That video changed my life. After I started talking to Beth on the phone, she said, “I remembered your video!”

Video is a powerful medium.

Her support and friendship has brought me through some pretty dark days. I love Bethie immensely and every day I thank God I met her. Beth is my big sister, my best friend, and my soul advocate. Every single day, I am inspired by how she gives herself to her clients and her family. Her generosity is staggering. As I hear her life play out on the phone: being a great daughter, being a devoted mom, being a loving wife, and now being THAT awesome grandmother. She is amazing grace incarnate. There are days when I ask, “Am I worthy of being her friend. Am I good enough?” I am truly blessed to call her my friend. If I had never made that video, I would have never met Beth.

My friendship with Beth has been featured in Marie Forleo’s “Live Your Dream” campaign.

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“Who’s there that makes you so afraid? Shaken to the bone….”

The funny thing is, I was terrified to do the B-School scholarship video. I was afraid of making a fool out of myself. I didn’t feel good enough. I had looked at the other video entries and I felt pathetic… lots of these women had sets, costume changes, beautiful fade ins, and title bumpers. All I had was me. But, some little voice said, “Do it! Do it for the chunky girls of a certain age! Do it for the women who don’t have fancy stuff, yet! ”

“Don’t tell me why nothing is good enough….”

That little video has brought me acclaim in the world of millionaire marketers. I went to Marie’s RHH Live in New York, and to my surprise, Kate Northrup, Derek Halpern, Mastin Kipp, and Gabby Berstein all knew exactly who I was! I was “The Dance Bomber”!  Danielle LaPorte said something to me that still sticks, and has become my mission for 2014 “You are just SEEN. You can’t be denied.”

This year I want to help women BE SEEN and BE UNDENIABLE.

“I don’t understand. You deserve so much more than this…”

I have declared 2014 the year “I WILL BE SEEN. I WILL NOT BE DENIED!”

What if you decided this was the year you DESERVED to be seen? What if you decided this was the year you stood out? What if you decided to stop retreating to that quiet corner of desperation?

Doesn’t your message DESERVE to be heard? YOU are GOOD ENOUGH. Right now. You look GOOD ENOUGH. You sound GOOD ENOUGH. Your equipment is GO ENOUGH. Your ideas are GOOD ENOUGH.

“Don’t you know that WHY is so much more than good enough….”

Last year, I made videos that were seen across the world. I have sat in front of my computer and wept knowing that my videos have connected me (a mama in OK) to women in South Africa, Scotland, Belgium, Russia, Israel, and on and on. Lord, yall, I have been business, social media and life coaching the SHIT out of TV stars, movie directors, and new celebs… all because of videos I shot in my kids’ room, at my kitchen table, and on my sofa. None of the celebs want to talk about how I make videos. They all want to talk about how to be more REAL. They all want to hear the story of WHY I did my videos.

WHY? Because right where I am, with what I had, I consistently did what I was more than GOOD ENOUGH at :

HUMOR + HEART = MY AUTHENTICITY.

The WHY has been so much more than good enough.

I add value and make the world better by making people laugh.

“Tangela, my mom and I watched your Scandal recaps all last week. She loved you. She thinks you’re going to make it to Broadway! She passed away yesterday, but I want you to know she thought the world of you, and so do I. Thank you for giving us so many laughs in her last days.” K. M. Wisconsin

“So just let me try and I will be good to you. Just let me try and I will be there for you. I’ll show you why you’re so much more than GOOD ENOUGH…”

My 2013 was mind-blowing. Life-altering. Game changing. I did it all without an agent, manager, or publicist. I did it because I BELIEVE in my gift. I did it because through it all; the setbacks, letdowns, hardships, disappointments, I DESERVED so much more than what I had.

I am so much more than GOOD ENOUGH, and so are you.

Wishing you all the best in 2014!

Sing it Sarah!


 

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13 comments on “Good Enough

  1. Sheryl Kurland on said:

    Congrats to you Tangela. I got chills reading this column (and that’s a GOOD thing). You’re immensely inspiring. May you continue to be blessed with the things you’ve worked so hard to achieve. Tangela, YOU ROCK!!!!

  2. Beth Picard on said:

    You are the SWEETEST person on the planet and I am thankful EVERYDAY that we are friends!! And you should NEVER EVER doubt that you are good enough- you are WAYYYY MORE than good enough! You are FANTASTIC!! and I love you dearly!

  3. Hey T,

    When did you start believing you were good enough? That you deserved better? How do I know if I’m good enough and deserve better, what if this is all I’ll ever achieve? I’m afraid to be disappointed again.

    Girl, I believe in you, because anyone looking from the outside can see your potential. It shines right through your dark chocolate exterior and warms us all.

    I havent seen that evidence in myself.

  4. Farah Belliard on said:

    GOO, TANGELA!

    I remember watching your B-School scholarship video and I was so touched by you – you deserve every bit of success that you have right now, and I’m so glad to know you!

    *dance bombing and booty popping”

    Love,

    Farah

  5. Annette W on said:

    So I started watching your Scandal recaps, then following you on twitter (yes, those are my inappropriate tweets) & now I’m completely girl-crushing on you (humor+talent+real= amazing). This is a lesson that I have to revisit, because I struggle with accepting my worth. Thanks for a tangible reminder & keep doing what you do best.

  6. Carol Lasater on said:

    I have always believed and known you were good enough! Your gift, your talent has always been enough! I am so happy you realize and accept that not only are you good enough, you are more than good enough and always have been! What a fabulous talent GOD gave that former maid, school teacher do anything to make money mom from OK! May GOD continue to bless you as you bless us with your joy and talent! I know Miss Ella is smiling!

  7. This is beautiful and empowering. I’m ready to take over the world. Not now but RIGHT now!

  8. Thank you!

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